my testimony

A lot of stuff has happened in the past couple weeks that are too personal to share, but I really want to share my testimony.
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I have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I have been born into this Church, but that does not make me love this Church any less than somebody who is a new member.
Yes, my parents have raised me underneath the principles of the Church;
but I have had to choose to live by these principles.
I have been given the agency to choose good over evil, and I am so grateful for that agency.

Now that I am away at college I have a greater appreciation for everything that my parents have taught me these past 18 years.
And there have been so many things I have had to learn on my own, but I'm grateful that I had to.
Because it has strengthened my testimony of Jesus Christ.

I know that Jesus Christ is the literal Son of our Heavenly Father.
I know that the Atonement is real. I have seen it in my life. I have committed sins that you could never, ever imagine--but through the Atonement I have been healed.
I have a testimony of forgiveness, especially the forgiveness of God.
He will forgive us.
And knowing that He forgives you is probably the best feeling in the world.

I know that the temple is a sacred place.
And one of the most amazing feelings to me is walking out of a temple recommend interview from a member of my Bishopric with a brand new temple recommend in my hand, knowing that I am worthy to enter the house of the Lord--I am worthy to be in the presence of my Heavenly Father and His servants.
What an incredible knowledge!

I know that living prophets are real. They speak to our generation through the Holy Spirit of the Lord.
I know that President Thomas S. Monson is a true, real prophet. I know that He has the keys to speak to God, and I know that he has had experiences that we will never know about.
I know that the apostles are inspired of the Lord and that what they tell us is revelation.

I know that personal revelation is real.
I know that the Spirit will speak to us through the scriptures. I have seen it in my life and I have seen how it has blessed me.

I know that the law of tithing is a perfect law.
I know that as I abide by it I will be blessed. I have seen this promise manifested in my life time after time.

I know that God's commandments are not to hold us back or keep us from having a good time--
they are to protect us.
He gives us the commandments to set us free.
And people might tell us that we are being held back, but in the end we will be the ones without shackles around our ankles and chains around our wrists.
We will be free.

I know that this world did not happen by accident.
The perfect amount of air on earth, the distance away from the sun, the revolutions of the moon--it couldn't have all been an accident.
There is no way that this could have been a coincidence, God knew exactly what He was doing when He created this universe as well as when He created me.
The hands that created the universe are the same hands that created our bodies.
That is amazing to me.

I know that there are two reasons why I am here on this earth today.
1) to repent
2) to serve God

And any blessings that God gives us besides this are to help us get through the trials of this life.

I know that my Heavenly Father loves me.
He loves me enough that He sent his Only Begotten Son down to this horrible earth to die for me.
I know that my Savior loves me, because He was willing to sacrifice His life and His perfection so that I could live with my Father in Heaven again.
I know that my Heavenly Mother loves me. I do not remember her very well, but I know that she is up there. I know with my entire soul that she exists.

I know that families can and will be together forever if we do what the Lord asks of us.
I am so grateful that my family has been sealed in the temple for time and all eternity.
Maybe I don't get along with my family all of the time, but at the end of the day I truly do love them and want to be with them forever.

I know that the Plan of Salvation is real.
I know that our time on earth is so small compared to the rest of our lives.
It is so small, so miniscule--we just have to prove ourselves here in order for us to be saved in the next life.

I know that as I live the commandments that the Lord has given to me, He will be so proud of me and He will be my advocate. And at the end of the day, all I want is for my Heavenly Father to be proud of me.
I want Him to be proud of me when I return to Him someday.

Whenever I do something wrong, I can feel that He is disappointed in me.
And it makes me sad.
That is why I want to do everything in my power to make Him so happy.

I love this gospel.
I love this Church.
Not only am I willing to die for this gospel,
but I love it so much that I am willing to live for it.
Because that is what God has asked of me.

a prayer of the heart (the lost journal)

Today was busier than normal.

I attended class in the morning, got breakfast, went to the Marriott Center for the Homecoming kickoff, took a nap in the grass outside the Clyde Building, went to class, and finally went to work.

My coworker Aaron and I were laughing about something, and it reminded me about a picture of this baby donkey I had in my journal.

I reached into my backpack for my journal to show him this picture...
My journal was not there.

I pulled out every single thing out of my backpack.
Nope. Not anywhere.

My mind started to flash back to where I had been today...
When I realized that my journal, my book where I keep my private thoughts and feelings, my past, and most importantly my notes from General Conference, could be lost at the Marriott Center, that's when I officially started freaking out.

It's a good thing I was off the clock, because I gathered my stuff up and left.
I walked to the Wilkinson Center, where I was positive I had left it in the bathroom on my way to the kickoff.
It wasn't there.
I could feel the tears welling up in the back of my eyes...

My next thought was to go to the Clyde Building, where I had changed into a work skirt after class.
But the 'Lost and Found' is right downstairs, I thought to myself.
Might as well go check it out, even though there is no possible way on this earth that it could ever be there...

I shakily walked downstairs and to the Lost and Found.
When I walked in, some ladies were telling a girl that she should come check every day because some things take a few days to get to the Lost and Found.
Thanks. That makes me feel a ton better. (not)

When I told her I lost something... "a green journal with owls on the front?"...
The girl said, "Okay, I'll go look."
The girl next to her said, "Oh hey, somebody just brought that in!"

I felt my heart just drop. I was so grateful I started crying in the Lost and Found.
I had to go into a bathroom stall in the bottom of the Wilk and just get on my knees and cry to my Heavenly Father out of gratitude for a couple of minutes.

I didn't even have to get on my knees to begin with to cry out to my Heavenly Father.
He just helped me anyway.

I just had to open my journal and read some of the things on the pages, I couldn't believe that He had actually returned it to me...

My eyes fell upon a quote that Elder Holland shared from his talk in Conference this past weekend.

President Monson shared with the sisters in the General Relief Society meeting:

"God's love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it].
It is simply always there."

I am probably the last person who should deserve God's love. I am so imperfect, sometimes I feel like I can't do anything right. I mess up every single day of my life, I know that I am not perfect right now.

But He still loves me despite that.
And He showed me that today through this loving, tender mercy.

I'm so grateful for the power of prayer. <3

the best Physics professor

Today, God really proved to me that He is the best teacher.

I'm in Physics 105, and it's a hard class. I'm one of few freshmen in this class.  Most of the other students in the class are juniors and seniors taking the class to finish their majors, and I'm here taking it for a general.

We have homework assignments due every Tuesday and Thursday night.
There is a Physics Tutorial Lab available every day where students can come to get help on homework and with questions.

Last Tuesday, I went to the tutorial lab at 7:30pm and got home at 11pm.
On Thursday, I arrived at the lab at about 7:00pm and got home at 10:30pm.
And I'm not slacking off at these labs.

That much being said, it takes about 3 1/2 hours to finish a homework assignment.  And that's when I'm surrounded by TAs and other students that I can get help from.

Today I had a test to take, and I was too tired to attend the tutorial lab.
I got home at about 7pm, showered, and sat down to do my Physics at about 10pm.

I felt overwhelmed.  I didn't want to be up until 2am finishing this assignment.
I prayed to my Heavenly Father.  I told him I would do his homework first if He would help me with the world's homework.

So I put away the Physics and got out my scriptures.
After doing my scripture study, I said another prayer asking Heavenly Father to please help me understand this homework.

I know that he understands Physics better than anybody--I mean, He created the earth, didn't He? He knows everything.  He knows this better than we could ever comprehend.

I started on the questions, and things began to pop into my mind that I never thought was possible.

I started the homework at 10:30pm, and finished at 11:50pm.

I know that the Lord will help us if we do our part first.
He will never let us down.

And oh yeah--Heavenly Father is definitely the best Physics professor ever. <3