a prayer of the heart (the lost journal)

Today was busier than normal.

I attended class in the morning, got breakfast, went to the Marriott Center for the Homecoming kickoff, took a nap in the grass outside the Clyde Building, went to class, and finally went to work.

My coworker Aaron and I were laughing about something, and it reminded me about a picture of this baby donkey I had in my journal.

I reached into my backpack for my journal to show him this picture...
My journal was not there.

I pulled out every single thing out of my backpack.
Nope. Not anywhere.

My mind started to flash back to where I had been today...
When I realized that my journal, my book where I keep my private thoughts and feelings, my past, and most importantly my notes from General Conference, could be lost at the Marriott Center, that's when I officially started freaking out.

It's a good thing I was off the clock, because I gathered my stuff up and left.
I walked to the Wilkinson Center, where I was positive I had left it in the bathroom on my way to the kickoff.
It wasn't there.
I could feel the tears welling up in the back of my eyes...

My next thought was to go to the Clyde Building, where I had changed into a work skirt after class.
But the 'Lost and Found' is right downstairs, I thought to myself.
Might as well go check it out, even though there is no possible way on this earth that it could ever be there...

I shakily walked downstairs and to the Lost and Found.
When I walked in, some ladies were telling a girl that she should come check every day because some things take a few days to get to the Lost and Found.
Thanks. That makes me feel a ton better. (not)

When I told her I lost something... "a green journal with owls on the front?"...
The girl said, "Okay, I'll go look."
The girl next to her said, "Oh hey, somebody just brought that in!"

I felt my heart just drop. I was so grateful I started crying in the Lost and Found.
I had to go into a bathroom stall in the bottom of the Wilk and just get on my knees and cry to my Heavenly Father out of gratitude for a couple of minutes.

I didn't even have to get on my knees to begin with to cry out to my Heavenly Father.
He just helped me anyway.

I just had to open my journal and read some of the things on the pages, I couldn't believe that He had actually returned it to me...

My eyes fell upon a quote that Elder Holland shared from his talk in Conference this past weekend.

President Monson shared with the sisters in the General Relief Society meeting:

"God's love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it].
It is simply always there."

I am probably the last person who should deserve God's love. I am so imperfect, sometimes I feel like I can't do anything right. I mess up every single day of my life, I know that I am not perfect right now.

But He still loves me despite that.
And He showed me that today through this loving, tender mercy.

I'm so grateful for the power of prayer. <3